can read minds, but is illiterate.
What happens if I type here?
Women: Can't live with them, can't kill them.
Weed smoking and turkey pulling today. Oops ... reverse those verbs. Sorry.
was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said "Parking Fine"
Build a man a fire he's warm for a day, set a man on fire and he's warm the rest of his life.
negative candles are cantdles
this space for rent
Top Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?"
do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles
got her test results back this morning and is shocked to find that she been diagnosed with OCD. I've rung the doctors nine times to check if they're correct
is normally not a praying person, but if you're up there, please save me Superman
is cleaning out her medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time
is proud of himself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years
what do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it?... Next week
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