Never make eye contact while eating a banana
Funny Facebook Status Ideas
Facebook status messages that make me laugh!
My children are quiet. They've either figured out how to play together nicely, or have killed each other.
is going crazy... wanna come?
I have a theory that the world would be a safer place if everyone were forced to take IQ tests and had to display their results as warnings to the population.
I wouldn't need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.
You're probably wondering why I gathered you all here. So am I.
Does chewing gum lose its flavor on the bed post overnight?
will be using the all knowing Magic 8 Ball to make all decisions today!
I sleep better naked...why can't the flight attendant understand this?
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes
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